By DeeDee Dynamite
As we open, Brooke’s mouth is still wide open and still catching flies from Katie’s pronouncement that she’s in love with Ridge. She’s talking slowly to Katie like she’s riding on the short bus or something.
“So, you’re ‘in love’ with Ridge?”
Katie nods her head and tells her that yes, she’s in love with Ridge. Brooke is dumbfounded.
At Forrester, Ridge picks up and puts down the phone. Hope, who’s obviously been watching this occur for a while, asks has he heard anything. You’re looking at him, BoBo. You’d be able to see it on his face. He says that it may take a while. Hope agrees because her mom is not going to accept this easily. 10:1 odds say Brooke will think it’s a joke and laugh. She wouldn’t take Katie seriously or think she’s a threat. NO woman is a threat in Brooke’s eyes. Hope agrees with me, apparently.
“Honestly, she’s probably not going to believe it.”
“I should be there to help her explain.”
Hope has changed her opinion (Ooh, big surprise!) on that matter because she tells him that he’ll get his chance. She says they’re sisters (Which seems to count for diddly squat in the Logan family) and she understands (Now that Ridge broke it down for her) why Katie needs to talk to her first. Ridge looks at Hope thoughtfully.
We cut back to Katie’s house where Brooke is still stupefied at the idea that Katie is in love with Ridge. Katie is telling her it’s difficult to understand, but she needs to know and Brooke’s mouth is agog. Still.
Now Katie’s speaking to HER like she’s slow. Brooke nods her head, mouth still open, and turns around to face the mantle and I bet this chick is gonna die laughing when she turns around. I was wrong. She didn’t even wait to turn back around before she started laughing. She’s giggling up a storm and Katie is looking a mite offended. You’re laughing now, troll…
In working people news, Quinn (Rocking the cutest red and black dress) is super excited to see her baby boy back from Paris. I was cracking up when he said that the poor thing (Hope, of course) couldn’t live a day without him. I don’t blame Wyatt, though. Paris is beautiful and it automatically has a woman inclined to drop those undies. He’d be a FOOL not to have gone. Hitched a ride and got to stay in the hotel for free? That is what we call #winning, my friend!
Quinn asks if he pitched the idea for the Stephanie Forrester Collection and Quinn almost did the happy dance that Thorne liked the idea.
“Another successful collaboration with the Forresters!” Job security, baby!
“And another memorable adventure for Hope and me.” They STAY on vacation.
Quinn’s nosy butt is up in his business trying to see if they found alone time. I, personally, would hurl if my mom asked about my sex life, but whatever. Wyatt is waxing lyrical about he and Hope being closer than ever, their connection, their ability to relate, how they travel and how they laugh and I’m happy because the closer they get, the further Hope will be from Liam and the sooner I’ll be able to retire my #FreeLiam hashtag.
“She trusts me. She confides in me. I’ve never…”
“Feels good, doesn’t it?”
His face is enraptured and his voice is lower. If you’re not hearing Beyoncé singing Drunk in Love right now in your head, I don’ t know what planet you’re from.
Ridge is telling Hope that he loved her mother and he had every reason to believe that this time (3,690,241) would work out. Hope calls him on the one very big reason that it wouldn’t. She knows he cares about Brooke, but she says it’s just not enough anymore. I guess she’s finally off that “Remember all the reasons you love her and use one of those to go back to her” kick. Hope is finally on the bandwagon with this being better for everyone if he and Katie have feelings for each other. He thanks her for giving them time to figure things out because it couldn’t have been easy for her (to keep her mouth shut seeing as it’s permanently flapping.)
“No, it wasn’t, but it was the right thing to do for all three of you.”
Let’s see what your MAMA says when SHE finds out, Hope. *rubs hands with glee*
“Not that my mom will agree.”
We switch back over to Katie’s where Brooke is STILL busting a gut over the idea of Katie being in love with Ridge. Okay, so I did call it right about Katie being offended because her face DEFINITELY looks it right now as she questions Brooke about why she’s laughing.
“Because it’s kind of… you know… it’s CUTE!” Cute? I want to curse.
“It’s cute?” Go ahead, Katie, show her what cute is.
“It’s cute. I’ve GOT to tell Ridge. He HAS to know!”
Now, as Katie is telling Brooke that Ridge already knows, Brooke’s voice gets even more amused at the thought that Katie told him. Katie looks away like, “This female dog right here…” and Brooke’s tone is all, “This is rich!” as she tells Katie that it must have been pretty awkward (For Ridge) because a lot of women have crushes on Ridge, but she never imagined Katie. Her voice is one of amused pity and it makes me want to smack her. She is super amused as she asks Katie what did he say.
Quinn is questioning if Hope is okay. Wyatt tells Quinn Hope is fine; it’s just some weird ass Logan stuff going on, but nothing to worry about. For all his gossipy ways, Wyatt didn’t tell Quinn about Katie and Ridge and that puts him a little lower on my “Shut your face!” list. Wyatt is more focused on the fact that they’re together and Hope leans on him. Quinn makes a joke about him having the shoulders for it and rules on this board keep me from making any comments indicating that Wyatt needs to build up more arm strength if he’s going to be hefting Hope around, so I’ll move on to Quinn asking if the trip was flawless and him saying more or less.
“Well, Thorne’s daughter is… different.” Emphasis on different.
“What do you mean?”
“She’s off her meds like you.” Just kidding. He didn’t say that. He should have said it and WOULD have said it if I wrote for this show.
He says that she has this idea in her head (That Hope perpetrated for the entire world) of who Hope should be.
“Like a nun or something.”
“Ewwww.” Quinn twists up her face and, with that freaky Stallion Whisperer sex going on between her and Bill, it’s understandable why celibacy is repellant to her.
Wyatt relays that Aly walked in on him and Hope doing it and that Aly has this image of Hope being the Voice of Chastity or that she has to be committed to Liam no matter what. Quinn asks why and I scream, “Because that’s what she was screaming from the rooftop for YEARS until Liam popped her cherry!”
Wyatt has no idea why and this lets me know he STILL hasn’t Googled Hope. Quinn says it sounds kind of awkward and Wyatt says that Hope didn’t let it bother her, but he wasn’t listening hard enough at the door because Hope was deeply offended that Aly called her a ho and a hypocrite for abandoning her morals and her standards. Quinn thinks it’s good that Hope has him and he tells Quinn he’s going to help her unwind. All you B&B newbies, this is code for “We’re gonna have sex on the clock.” Trust me. Him declining Quinn’s offer of assistance confirms it.
As he’s walking out to go get booty with Hope, Pam walks in, mean mugging him all the way. She doesn’t even speak to him. Quinn is saccharine sweet when she tells Pam hello and that she wants to send some flowers to Hope. Pam’s face and attitude are like, “And what does that have to do with me, trick?” right before she tells Quinn, “Oooookay.” Quinn is rattling off what she wants the card to say and I’m waiting for Pam to go off because she assists executives, not contractors.
“Wait. So you’re expecting ME to…”
Quinn tells her yes and that Pam can put it on Quinn’s budget account or Eric’s because he’s not going to mind knowing they’re from her. Girl. Pam will CUT you over Eric. You better Google this chick! Quinn is all bubbly and smiley and Pam gives her a smile that lets me know she’s going to give Quinn an earful.
For once in her life, Hope is rattling on about work. Ridge is not even listening. Hope asks if he wants to call over there. Euro Ridge is a man of action. He’s going over there. He can’t let Katie go through this by herself. He takes off.
When you read this next part, please have the right tone of voice for Brooke. It’s one of arrogant condescension. Imagine the one she used for years on Taylor. Are we good? Okay. Brooke says she knows Ridge was kind and asks Katie if he let her down easily. She says, “Oh, look at you! You’re so serious!” the way you would to a child that is wise beyond their years. You know, the voice you use as you pat their head.
“Don’t be. I’m really not upset. And you don’t need to be embarrassed. It’s understandable.” Katie looks at her like, “Uh huh,” as she asks her is it. “Yes, it is. Ridge is very supportive and I know, better than anyone, what it’s like when he turns into that knight in shining armor.”
Did she just call Ridge Captain Save-a-ho? Katie is trying to explain that it’s more than that and Brooke talks about how Ridge swoops in and saves the day and of course Katie developed a crush on him. Is Brooke EVER going to see Katie as anything other than an awkward twelve-year-old?
“I hurt you and I hurt him and the two of you spent time commiserating (This part is said like Ridge and Katie were children being difficult and not getting with the program) and I get it.”
Katie makes that face again. The “You’re being insulting and demeaning in your condescension, but let me get over my feelings and get this out” face. She tells Brooke it’s more complicated than that. Brooke’s voice goes all fake-sympathetic as she nods and tells Katie she’s also dealing with the loss of her marriage. Yeah, that she’d STILL have if you and Bill weren’t such rutting pigs!
“And then there’s Ridge that’s VERY different than Bill. And you collapsed at my wedding and he was there to take care of you. He’s very helpful and very understanding and kind and sweet (Girl, snap out of that daydream!) and I’m sure all of that reinforced it in your mind.”
Remember when Brooke was trying to convince Katie that her suspicions that Brooke was moving in were false and that Katie was crazy? Remember that voice she used? She’s using it right now. Katie is highly insulted during all of this and Brooke just barrels on saying that Ridge was just being friendly and that he had no idea (that he was making Katie think she had a chance with him is what she’s implying). She apologizes to Katie because men can be really clueless sometimes and I think we’re all supposed to be laughing at Brooke right now for being the clueless one.
“It’s fine. Really.” She pats Katie on the arm and Katie looks at her like Brooke is too much. “It’s fine. I’m not threatened by this at all. You are the LAST person I would EVER feel insecure about.”
As Brooke lays her head on Katie’s shoulder for a second, I am pissed. Okay, Katie. Imma need you to go off right about now. MY pride is hurt and it’s not even ME she’s talking to. Take offense. Take her to task. Do SOMETHING. Do ANYTHING other than let this chick talk about you as if you’re last year’s Prada or a piece of gum on the bottom of her shoe.
At Forrester, Quinn is examining the artistry of one of Stephanie’s diamond brooches. Pam walks in and tells Quinn, with attitude, that her flowers are ordered. Quinn thanks her and Pam’s face tells me she’s ready to rumble. She asks what’s up with Wyatt’s latest STUNT with serious attitude and, when Quinn asks, “Excuse me?” Pam takes issues with Stephanie’s jewelry being put on public display. Quinn thinks Pam should be honored, but Pammy isn’t having it.
“And is Wyatt planning on swiping those, too?” Pow! “Staging another little heist?” Bam!
Quinn tries to do damage control and tries to tell Pam what she thinks they should try, but Pam is beyond giving two flips what Quinn thinks. She articulates that they aren’t going to do anything together because she’s not interested in her faux friendship.
“You’re a fake. A phony. You cozied up to me and now you’re cozying up to Eric all just for your personal advancement.” Yes, Quinn. Pam just read you.
Maleficent asks Pam if she misses Chicago. Pam says no, but her face and voice says, “Hell naw!” as she asks her why. Quinn has the gall to tell Pam that maybe it’s a better place for her to be. Pam laughs and tells her she’s a California Girl now with the voice that says she knows what Quinn is up to. Quinn is done playing nice.
“Aww, that’s right. You’d miss your boyfriend… Upchuck.” Wow, Quinn.
“Excuse me!?!?! What did you just call Charlie?” Barney Fife.
Quinn has reverted back to playground humor. She asks Pam how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. Yeah, she really went there. Pam is LIVID.
“Listen, weirdo! You better be nice to me because, anytime I want, I could just walk up to those authorities with a certain little tape that I have.”
Aly walks up and sees them talking from the hall. She can’t hear what they’re saying, but she can tell the conversation is heated on Pam’s end.
“What Wyatt did was not only immoral (This is RICH coming from Pam!), it was illegal!”
“You wouldn’t DARE!”
Quinn’s right, but only because it would cause negative publicity for the company. Otherwise, Pam would dime Wyatt out in a hot minute.
“The only thing stopping me is that Wyatt is an employee in this company and that Hope seems to care about him for some reason. But the minute that is no longer true, he is gonna be in jail so fast. I’ll see to it.”
Aly is looking on at their exchange. She looks like a redheaded Anne Hathaway today.
In the Forrester Sex Room, I mean Steam Room, Hope walks in with her towel on to find Wyatt already waiting for her. He texted her to meet him there. She asks what this is about (Girl, please. You already know what time it is!) and he tells her that, with everything going on with her crazy family, he though she might need to relax. She doesn’t want to talk about them. They start kissing.
Katie gets up off that couch and her voice is pissed as she asks a bewildered Brooke if it’s so inconceivable, if it’s so laughable, that Katie could make her insecure. Brooke SAYS it’s not an insult, but she never considered Katie…
“What? Desirable? Competition?” Katie is biting her head off. Yes!
“No, Katie, it’s not that at all. It’s just… Ridge. He’s…”
“He’s what? Oh right! He has been with YOU so, therefore, no other woman could ever be enough for him. That’s why you don’t believe this.” Tell her, Katie!
Brooke doesn’t know what Katie is asking her to believe. She says that Katie has a crush on Ridge; she understands that. Katie tells her for the 3rd, 4th time that it’s more than that and Brooke tells Katie that she needs to calm down with the same voice a parent uses when a child is throwing a temper tantrum for no reason. She tells her that she doesn’t want her fainting again and, if she hadn’t been using that patronizing voice, I don’t think Katie would have came out with the truth as a harshly and as matter-of-factly as she did. Katie is done taking abuse from this chick.
“I didn’t faint.”
“You collapsed at my wedding.” Said in a “duh” voice. “Is that because of all these ‘newfound’ feelings you have for Ridge?”
“When I hit the floor at the wedding, making everyone believe that something had happened, it was a lie.”
“A lie? What are you talking about?” Pause. “You ruined my wedding.”
Damn, Katie. That matter-of-fact tone has Brooke’s mouth wide open again. I think Brooke finally bought a clue.
“You think that Ridge would have a relationship with you? That he would return these feelings?” She is incredulous. No, she thinks Katie is insane.
“He DOES have feelings for me!”
Brooke takes a deep breath before trying to be the soothing voice of reason. The condescending voice of reason.
“Katie. This is not one of your romantic novels.” Uh… wasn’t that the precursor for your “feelings” for Bill, Brooke. Projecting much? “Or your poetry.”
Katie laughs unbelievingly.
“He TOLD me.”
“He DOESN’T have feelings for you. We’re together. We’re practically married!”
“You’re NOT married!”
“We’re GOING to be married as soon as we go to the Justice of the Peace. We have a son together! We’re starting a life together!”
Brooke’s voice keeps rising and she’s about to start yelling. She catches herself, the way a parent does when they’re almost drawn into a yelling match with their child before they remember that they’re supposed to be the voice of sanity.
“You know what? I’m going to leave before I say something I regret and we’ll pick this up later!”
She used the mama voice on her. Brooke tries to walk away and Katie tells her that she really doesn’t think that Brooke understands. Brooke tells Katie that Ridge doesn’t have feelings for her. It’s just warmth and compassion and friendliness, but that’s it. Katie says that may have been it at first, but they’ve been spending a LOT of time together.
“He’s just being nice! Oh my GOD! How naïve can you be?”
During this time, Ridge has walked in. Both Logan sisters turn to face him. Brooke runs to him and kisses him on the cheek and throws her arms around him. She thanks God that he’s there and Katie’s is looking at him. I’m thinking the look on her face is saying, “This is it. It’s D-Day.” He kinda hugs her back, but not one of those deep ones he was giving Katie all week.
“We’ve gotta go ‘cuz Katie’s not really feeling well.”
She’s speaking to Ridge, but looking at Katie, but until the end. He looks at her. Katie’s still smarting from the things Brooke says so she is copping attitude when she tells Ridge that she’s fine, actually. Katie looks Ridge dead in the eye.
“I told her, but she doesn’t want to accept it.”
Ridge is looking like, “I knew it wasn’t going okay over here,” and looks at Brooke. Brooke is looking at Katie like, “I can’t believe this ignorant bleep actually twisted her lips up to say this mess. She’s off her rocker because this is NOT happening.” She turns to look at Ridge and his face is staid.
At Forrester, Crazy Quinn is no longer in the room as Pam is handling files. Aly apologizes for scaring Pam. Aly tells Pam she saw her talking to Quinn, but she couldn’t hear what they were saying. Her snooping skills aren’t at Olympic Gold levels like Quinn’s yet.
“I have issues with her. Both her and Wyatt. (Lawd hammercy. Every time she says his name she says it with attitude. She has a serious hate on for this guy!) You do, too?”
She cocks her head at Pam. Pam tries to hedge with that “well,” but Aly isn’t playing right now.
“Instinct tells me they’re no good.”
Pam hesitates for a second and then tells her, ‘Trust your instincts.”
“What do you know about them?” Aly’s tone is all business and Pam is looking like she wants to spill tea.
Wyatt, meanwhile, is nuzzling at Hope’s neck and I’m cracking up because I forgot they were even in there. I hope the cleaning lady uses industrial strength cleaner because that Steam Room gets ALL KINDS of action up in there. They start kissing deeply. He tells her to turn around and he starts massaging her shoulders and she sounds like he just hit her spot.
“I knew how stressed you’d be, so a little massage, a little steam…”
“And a lot of you…”
“And a lot of me…”
“We’ll get you to a better place.”
“You already have.”
She starts kissing him and the steam starts steaming and the camera cuts away because this isn’t Cinemax and what happens next can’t be seen on Network TV. Since Hope’s about to get her back knocked out, the camera cuts back over to Katie’s house as Ridge is closing the door, Katie has her arms crossed and is looking at Brooke like she’s stupid, and Brooke is trying to “reason” with Katie not to do this before she embarrasses herself further.
“Ridge and I will leave and give you some time to sort through your emotions.”
“I don’t think you should leave until you understand.” She’s shaking her head.
Brooke gives Katie this exasperated look and this sigh before she turns to face Ridge.
“You know what she’s talking about, right? She said she told you about her little crush.”
“Sweet, right? I told her it was harmless, but she’s turning it into all this kind of nonsense.”
For someone that doesn’t want Katie to embarrass herself, the tone of voice she’s using, like a parent mocking their child to another parent while the child in question is standing right there, is leading me to think that she deliberately wants to shame Katie. I’d have jacked this chick up by now. Katie is a better person than me.
“We… uh… We shouldn’t leave until we talk about it.”
This is from Ridge. Brooke looks up at him and smiles a little, like a parent humoring a child’s inane request, and Katie was right. Brooke DOES turn into a different person when he’s there. She turns back to Katie with this pitying look and then goes into “Concerned Big Sister” mode.
“I’m not going to hold this against you. It’s just that I think you need some time to think about this and realize that Ridge is your friend and he is my husband and we’re starting a life together.”
He is NOT YOUR HUSBAND. Lord, I sound like Ross from Friends screaming, “We were on a break!”
Brooke playing to the gallery is not sitting well with Katie. She must feel as repulsed by her playacting as I am, because she is completely unapologetic as she breaks Brooke down to the least common denominator.
“Ridge isn’t your husband, Brooke. He hasn’t been for a very long time. And things have changed. We’ve changed. Well, maybe not you, because you seem to stay in the same place (10th grade), but I’ve learned a lot from this last year–all the hurt and the betrayal–and so has Ridge. We’ve realized that we have better expectations of what we want from our lives and how we want to be loved.”
Brooke looks like she’s been verbally slapped. She also looks at Katie like she thinks she’s gone off the deep end and there’s no reasoning with her anymore. She gives an eye roll and makes a face that says, “Woooooooow!” and then she turns to Ridge with this fake magnanimous expression.
“Uh… I think she needs to hear this from you.”
She gives him that pursed lipped smile she does. She’s looking at Ridge. She’s addressing Ridge. But, in all honesty, she’s smacking Katie down.
“You gotta tell her, Ridge, that this is absolutely ridiculous and that whatever she has going on in her head, it’s wrong.”
Yes, she sounds that smug. Yes, she sounds that degrading. Yes, she sounds that demeaning and that patronizing. Watch the last three minutes of the episode and tell me I’m wrong. Ridge, meanwhile, hasn’t said anything. He’s silently regarding her. Katie’s eyes are on Ridge and she still has her arms crossed as Brooke goes closer to Ridge.
“Ridge? Tell her.”
Ridge doesn’t say anything. Katie’s looking at Brooke with pity now, and Brooke lets out a huffy breath and looks at Ridge, obviously confused as to why he hasn’t leapt to her command and told Katie that she’s out of her mind.
Cliffhanger Friday is in effect.